Another Favorite Quote (and rather fitting lately)

"When social forces press for the rejection of age-old Truth, then those who reject it will seek meaning in their own truth. These truths will rarely be Truth at all; they will be only collections of personal preferences and predjudices.
"The less depth a belief system has, the greater the fervency with which its adherents embrace it. The most vociferous, the most fanatical are those whose cobbled faith is founded on the shakiest grounds."

- Dean Koontz (from a book I read a long time ago, and cannot remember the title of)

All I can say is........

GO GIANTS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Where's my Hanukkah ham????

I'm going to take a big leap here, and guess that the owners of this store are NOT Jewish.

Little Bekah

I've been thinking about my friend Shannon's daughter Rabekah endlessly since June, but I haven't been able to write about her. Partly because it's very emotional, but mainly because I know there is just no way for words to do her justice, or to explain the impact she has had on my life (and many people's lives)- before she was sick, and since. She's just beautiful beyond words- in so many different ways.
I will write more about her at some point. But in the meantime, click on the link and read her story, from the beginning. Send some prayers her way, for her and for her family.


http://patientsweb.org/rabekah/index.html

Dudley

So, I think my cat Dudley had a stroke Friday night. She (yes, Dudley's a girl- long story) was completely normal before we went to sleep. Yesterday morning, Richard took care of the kids, and let me sleep in for a little while (I have the best husband ever!!). I trudged downstairs and into the kitchen to pancakes on the stove, the kids playing, and Dudley laying against the dog in the dining room. Something was wrong with this picture. Dudley hates the dog. While our other cats have gotten used to his presence, and pretty much act like he doesn't exist, Dudley still screams like a rabid beast and attacks him every day. Otie's scared to walk past the doorway of any room she's in. But here she was, lying against him. Weird.

So I watched them for a minute. Otie, seeing me watching him, moved. Dudley, realizing it was a dog she was snoozing with, freaked out. Dog runs away in horror- good, back to normal.

But Dudley was still acting pretty funny. She stood up, and just walked in circles- to the left. Circle after circle after circle- she wasn't stopping. I picked her up, and she couldn't make eye contact. One was slightly more dilated than the other, but both were still dilating and constricting together. I put her back down, and she walked into the wall. Watching her, I realized she was blind. I would make a sound by her right ear, and she would circle to her left to find the source of the sound. There was definately something seriously wrong with her.

I fed the other cats, and she had an appetite, but the poor thing couldn't eat her food very well. I put a pile in front of her, and she would turn in a circle, and grab a peice as she went by, if she could. She made a mess scattering the food all around her (much to Ezra's delight). Water was even messier.

My first thought was vestibular disease. But, it didn't really seem like it. She had no head tilt, and wanted to eat- no ear issues. She just didn't seem like a vestibular cat...

I talked to the on-call vet at the clinic-I was going to bring her in, but really, there's nothing much we'd do for her there that I can't do at home. Being a cat, she's not going to be getting a CT scan or anything... So, it's a wait and see type of thing.

It could be a stroke- that's what it seems like to me. It could be an accute poisoning (like lead or something else ), but being an indoor cat, probably not. And she doesn't eat paint chips, as far as I know, (though she is a weirdo, so who knows). Could be a tumor that's starting to press on surrounding structures. Could be the begining of some other disease process... Don't really know for sure. But since she seems completely content, other than circling and bumping into things, and being blind, I'm going to wait and see for a few days. I'm giving her an anti-inlammatory for a few days to see if there's any improvement, too. If there's any swelling in her little head, she should look better.

She's the same today, though she has managed to figure out how to get around and do the things she normally does. She gets up and down the stairs (though she does a complete circle on each step on her way up and down!). She gets in and out of the litter box (Thank Goodness! If she couldn't, or was incontinent, that would have been her demise). She's fine-tuned eating and drinking while walking in a circle, and she still manages to attack the dog, even if she's a bit off the mark now.

She's our oldest cat- 12, which isn't really that old for a cat. I got her when I was 20- before I met my husband, before I had any kids- she's been through a lot with me. She's a sweetie. I hope to have her around for a few more years...

We'll see.

It's getting cold...

It's getting cold once again here in Maine. Except for the astronomically high oil prices, I'm actually sort of looking forward to winter this year. Maybe it's because we're in Waterville now, and it won't feel like we're so isolated like we were in St Albans. It'll be nice to not live on a hill with the wind beating mercilessly at our house, on a dirt road that was almost impossible to drive up from December through May. The only thing I'll miss is seeing the deer outside every morning, and the amazing brightness of the stars on a clear night. But then, when I think about having to dig a tunnel through the snow to the mailbox, it seems like a minor sacrifice for all the conveniences of town living. Besides, the skunk living under our porch is more interesting than deer any day!! We've traded the stars at night for a streetlight outside our window, and the sound of snowmobiles and four-wheelers for the sound of cars. But now it takes exactly 2.5 minutes to get to the store for milk, and we can go outside for a walk whenever we feel like it, without having to dress the kids in pounds of gear, and rescue whistles in case they are suddenly completely consumed by the mud.
It's funny- I've always considered myself a country girl, but what did I know? I spent most of my childhood on Long Island, NY. If I couldn't see every detail through the windows of the house next door, we were in the country. I always thought the highways in upstate NY were really creepy because they were so empty. I did go to college in Vermont, at a tiny school in the country (for real), but I lived on campus, around people. I've realized over time that that's what it is- I like to be around people. Solitude is wonderful, once in awhile, but for everyday life, especially with little kids, I really like being close to civilization.
I can't wait to see Ezra's face when we get our first real snowfall- Which should be any day now here in miane, right? He played outside last winter, but It'll be brand new to him this year. I love the look of amazement and wonder in their eyes when they look out the window and see everything covered in a blanket of white for the first time. And the way they giggle when they step outside into the snow, and experience all the new sensations that go along with it. That's my favorite thing about little kids- the way they experience each new thing so fully- and their emotions are so genuine and raw.

Parents

I was one of the few kids I knew growing up who had parents who were still married. That doesn’t mean they had a particularly happy marriage, or should have stayed married, but they were, and it always seemed to be a source of pride for them. They might have been the most screwed up couple on the block, but hey, they were still married. That had to count for something, right?
I’ve often wondered over the years why they stayed married. They clearly made eachother miserable. Or at the very best, weren’t very compatible. But they had this "moral code" they wanted to live by; ( If you get married, it’s forever- it’s an oath before God, and it’s wrong to divorce.) In reality, it was like they had an idea in their heads of how they wanted to live their lives, but didn’t quite have the maturity, character or self-discipline to actually follow through. But if they stayed married, at least they could cling to that. It was the most visible example of how they lived their lives. They could appear to be living life a certain way, when in reality, they weren’t. They also used the whole "we have to stay married for the kids" excuse. I call it an excuse because that’s all it really is. It’s an easy way to justify doing nothing to change a situation that they don’t really want to put the effort into changing. People who say they are staying together for their children are really staying together REGARDLESS of their children. They are being selfish while trying to appear selfless. It’s self-deception, pure and simple. There were many many times growing up that I wished they would just get divorced already. Anyone who thinks it’s better for kids to stay together no matter what is completely wrong. Kids see right through it. Kids want peace and stability in their homes, and yes, parents who are happy, or at least positive. If that can only happen by the parents being separate, so be it. I’ve yet to meet someone who said "yeah, my parents fought like cats and dogs while I was growing up. They were yelling all the time, and we had no stability whatsoever, but I’m so thankful because at least they were together!". Duh.
Anyway, my parents are now separated. Of course, as is the status quo for our family, it took a major crisis for a change to happen. But it’s a good change. My parents were worried about how we were all going to take it, which I think is just silly. There are five of us, and four of us have been out of the house for years. They’re in NY. I’m in Maine, my sister is in Massachusettes, two of my brothers are married and have kids. At this point, their relationship has, like, zero impact on our lives. My first reaction was "it’s about time!!"
I think it’s really the best thing for both of them, especially my dad, at this point. They were stuck in a place where neither of them could move forward in any way with the other one there. Now they have the room to actually work through the personal things they each have to work through. If they can only be the best people they can be without eachother, then that’s the best thing. If eventually they work through stuff and get back together, fine. I really don’t care that much about the status of their relationship. I’d rather just see each of them happy and healthy.
There is a fictional couple that are the perfect depiction of my parents when they were fighting. The couple from the Shining. (The first one). If you take the baseball bat, the axe, and the homicidal tendencies out of the picture, there you have it- my parents. The similarities are actually pretty amazing! (Of course, in the Shining, Jack is the bad guy, and his wife is innocent- in my parents case, both are equally responsible for their problems). It still makes me laugh when I see it.
It makes me wonder, though... As I’ve gotten older, and since having a family of my own, my parents have seemed more and more transparent to me. What are Richard and I going to seem like when our kids look back at their childhood with us? Which crazy fictional movie-couple are we going to remind them of????